What is it You'd like me to do today?
I don't really ask that question anymore because I'm afraid. I used to ask it and then get deathly anxious about what You might ask me to do - so I think I just let it fade from my mind. Blocked it out. Kind of like when you keep on eating junk food. I know the effects it has on my body, but I just ignore them - pretend like they are not there.
I think that has to drive You even more crazy than when I'd ask and then get totally freaked out when something crazy would pop into my head. At least I was saying No. Now, I'm not even asking. Apathy - that's the word. Not caring! That's a pretty good way to describe my life for the last, heck, maybe year. But, NO MORE!
What do You want me to do today? I know that everything I try to do (oh no, here comes a cliche) on my own - that's no good! When cool things were happening was when I would trust You, ask You, respond to You. Wasn't there a way to set an alarm to remind me? Maybe I should do that today.
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