Asking for stuff that you think would make you happy - WHOOPS! I can specifically remember times in the last couple of months that I've said, "If I just had this...." or "If this just happened...." like God doesn't know what is best for me, like God isn't looking out for my best interests. I think He even gave me a few just to show me, "Oh, life is still pretty much the same."
To be honest, as I look back at where I've been for a while now, it's a pretty dark place. It's a place of seeking after what is best for me. I've got a pretty good history of doing that, but I took it to a different level during the very recent past. I started to do things I knew God wouldn't approve of, justifying them along the way, and I can see now what it was doing to my soul.
It feels like I'm on the way back - like God and I are getting back on the same page. And I'm glad for both times. I can't remember a time when I've been so anti-God or would consider myself an enemy of God, but these last couple of months - maybe? The good thing about that is I feel (and I hate to use the word "broken") broken, more sure than ever that I need You and that You really do have what is best for me.
Pop, that's a good question!
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