How Does That Have Anything to do with Marriage?

     With the GloBible App you choose different reading plans.  They have one for everything.  Top 100 passages, Jesus' words before the Crucifixion, Verses that use the word "Whale", Marriage.  Well, I decided to go for the Marriage one.
      So far, it's been a lot of verses about how a husband should treat a wife or a wife should treat a husband.  There's an occasional "They will become one flesh" or "Rejoice in the ____________ of your wife."  But, today was a stretch.
      The Water to Wine story?  OK, Jesus is at a wedding.  But, that's it!  He doesn't say anything about the bride and groom, the sacrament of marriage, even how to act when you're at the reception.  It's really about changing the Water to Wine.
       Sometimes in life, you are left to create your own conclusions - whether they were intended or not!
     This is Jesus' coming out party!  His first miracle, and He doesn't want to do it.  In fact, he straight up confronts his mom, and you know what she does - turns to the guys next to her and says, "Do whatever He tells you to."
     Even Jesus humbles himself to listen to what someone else has to say.  He is God remember.  He is the one who created the universe.  He is the all-knowing, all-powerful, God has come to the earth, character in this story.  He doesn't think this is a good idea!  But, he does it anyway.  Jesus, listens to someone who has an idea different from his own....AND DOES IT!
     How's that for a marriage tie in?

IS LIFE BETTER WHEN IT'S HARD OR EASY?

     Picture the guy sitting around a table with Kindergarten students asking, "Would you like life to be easier or harder?"
      No brainer right?  Right?  The answer may not be as easy as you think.  Why?  Some of use will not like the easy answer.  In fact, some of us (maybe even the person typing right now) think easy is not better.  Some of us think that good things only come from hard work.  Some of us think that we have to do things on our own or else we are soft.  Some of us think….. ok, you get it.
       But, today I read*** about a guy carrying luggage through an airport.  He had all of his families bags minus one that each person was carrying.  When they came to the walkway, he was so covered in bags that he missed it while his family laid down their bags on walkway and were moved along.  He, on the other hand was left sweating, struggling and getting frustrated over this mountain of bags.  Do we have any bag carriers out there?
      See the hard way in life involves us trying to do everything on our own - using our own strength, ideas, energy and wisdom.  It's not a bad idea, and if you asked most "successful" people they'd probably say that's the way to go.  But, there is another way.  The easy way.
      With the easy way, we let the Holy Spirit take the lead.  We acknowledge that we can't do everything, that we are not perfect and that the Holy Spirit can do more good through us than we could do on our own.  Everything is not dependent on our strength, ideas, energy and wisdom.  It's not dependent on us at all - it's Him.
      The only problem with the easy way is that we have to give up control.  We have to trust that God knows what is better for us than we even know.  We have to be willing to be a follower instead of a leader.
       I'm going to try the easy way today.  I'll let you know how it goes.

*** The story comes from a book called Not a Fan.  Pretty good.

OT VS NT…and we're not talking basketball!

     We were driving in the car the other night when Luisa said, "They did it in the Old Testament!"  Have you ever tried to explain why God does some things in the Old Testament that seem totally against what Jesus teaches in the new.  It doesn't quite make sense.
      An eye for an eye vs. forgiveness.  Stone a man vs. look at your own sins.  Divorce someone vs. anyone who divorces is an adulterer.
      When they asked Jesus about this (specifically why Moses allowed for husbands to give a certificate of divorce to their wives) He said, "It's because your hearts were hardened."
      That's kind of the point I was making in the car the other night.  In the Old Testament, God had no way to change hearts.  Jesus had not come, reconciliation was not a factor, and the ultimate sacrifice had not been made yet.  So, yes, there was some bullying going on by God, some intimidation.  One could even argue that God's method of Goding (that's a verb) was through fear - the bad kind.
      But, now God has open reign to forgive and usher in grace - and to those whom much is given, much is required.  We have the same ability, with our family, our friends, and our wives.
      You know what I just thought of?  This does kind of separate us - there are people today living according to Old Testament rules.  Isn't that crazy?  Think about it - if someone was still using pagers, or playing 8 tracks in their car or better yet riding a horse to work, we'd think it's archaic.  But, people are living according to rules that have been extinct for over 2000 years - and they choose to do it.  Crazy!

HONESTY

     Marriage is basically a matter of honesty.  Did you tell the truth or not?
     "Do you take this man to be your husband in sickness and health....."
     "....till death do you part?"
     I think to pass the test you have to say "I Do!" to that one.  (Wouldn't it be funny though, if someone was like, "Um, I don't know.  Actually, I don't."  And then the pastor said, "Too bad - I now pronounce you man and wife!")
      But, all of us, (You don't pass the test if you don't) have said, "I am going to keep this husband or wife until death do us part."  We said that!  We promised!
     Maybe that's why Jesus was not messing around when he said, "You divorce someone = You commit adultery!"  You have lied, you have cheated, you have been dishonest.
     Is marriage about love?  Yes.  But, it's more about honesty.  We are not going to wake up everyday with that "oooey-gooey", "I can't wait to serve my wife" feeling in our stomach.  But, we can wake up everyday and say, "I made a promise, and today I'm going to honor that promise."

KIDS- WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR?

     Today, I read about God taking his exiled people into a new land and telling them to have children (by the way, that's how you start a blog when you don't know what you're going to write about).  But, it did kind of catch my attention that one of God's first recommendations is to go and make some more children.
     This has been happening for some time now.  People get married, they have children, more people come into the world.  In fact, in some areas of the world, it has been happening for so long and at such alarming rates that they limit the number of children you can have.  In other parts of the world, children are being born into families that don't have enough to eat for themselves.
      I get the original idea.  There's all this land and someone has to take care of it.  Have some children!  But, in this day and age, most people don't really need kids to help take care of anything.   And it seems like there are enough people in this world right now that God could pretty much do anything He needs to do.
      So, the question becomes, Is there any advantage besides "lightening to load" to procreate?  Does God have any other reason for recommending his people have kids?
    I can only draw on my own experience.  If you want to guarantee a selfless attitude in an adult, give them some kids.  If you want to humble an adult, give them some kids.  If you want to establish a joy for this world in an adult, give them some kids.  You want to see a faith that can do stuff,  check out a kid.  And if you want to see how God looks at an adult, give them some kids.
      Sure, Grace and Sofia take out the garbage every now and then and maybe do a few dishes along the way, but I think God has bigger plans for them in our lives than just household chores.  And I've got a feeling, if you have kids, He's got bigger plans for them in your family too.
     

MY THOUGHTS ON RICHARD SHERMAN

     I don't like dress shirts.  They don't say anything about the person wearing them.  Give me a Bears jersey, a Coke shirt, a Madison Bulldogs hoodie.  That tells you something about me.  I went to a party on Saturday - everyone had a dress shirt on.  It wasn't like I was going up to someone and saying, "Oh,  I see you like stripes."
     Along comes Richard Sherman.  It's one of the biggest plays of his life, he makes a great play….and then let's everyone know he made a great play.  Could I have done without the choke sign? Yes.  Would I want my daughters or players to say that after the game? No!  Did I kind of enjoy it and hope to see more of it in the next two weeks? YES!
      "The 49ers played great" - that's dress shirt.
      "My teammates made an excellent play" - dress shirt.
      "I thank God" - dress shirt.
       "That's what happens when you talk about me.  I shut you up real quick." - not dress shirt!
      We talked at church on Sunday about judging a person before you know their whole story.  Who knows what was being said on the field?  In fact, who knows anything about Richard Sherman?  And in a North Face jacket kind of world, someone that is different is interesting to me.
       And it's interesting to you too!  There were two teams that made a Super Bowl on Sunday.  One of them had a man throw for 400 yards and put himself into a spot to be the best QB ever!  Another had a fan base that has their own flag, get a chance to see their team take home the ultimate prize for the first time ever.  We saw Marshawn Lynch run hard, Doug Baldwin play the game of his life, Seattle go for it on 4th and 7, the Denver D stop a to-point conversion, and after 6 hours of one of the greatest days of football - everyone is talking about 6 minutes after the games were over.
     Weird, isn't it?  How much we care about something that doesn't matter.  That's because it's interesting.

WIFE IS GOOD OR GOOD WIFE

In my last blog post, I talked about appreciating the wife you have instead of thinking about what a good wife should do.....then I read this.  A wife of noble character......The passage goes on to talk about a wife that gets up early, gets a ton of stuff done, helps the needy and puts others in front of herself.
     It raises the bar a little bit, and it poses a question to me.  WHICH IS IT?  A wife is inherently good or look for a good wife.  Maybe it's both.
     Maybe we should appreciate whoever is our wife - just for the fact that she is our wife.  But, if we have a wife like they talk about in Proverbs - a wife that truly does put everyone in front of herself, we should be very grateful!  Those wives don't come around very often.  It's not the norm.  It's the Peyton Manning, not the Jay Cutler.  It's the LeBron James, not the Jimmy Butler.
     So, let's appreciate our wives no matter who they are.  But, if you are blessed to have one of these special ones, go and do three things:
1) Get down on your knees and thank God.
2) Tell her or show her.
3) Get down on your knees and thank God.

WIFE IS GOOD OR GOOD WIFE?

He who finds a wife finds what is good.  He who finds a good wife…..A good wife helps him find…..No, he who finds a wife finds what is good.
     I like to put the word "good" before wife.  A "good" wife would……  A "good" wife is……..   A "good" wife does……..
     But in this passage, good is after wife.  A wife, in and of itself, is good.  Nowhere in this passage does it talk about the type, character, personality or habits of a wife making her good.  It just says a wife is good.
     What if this is true about a lot of other stuff?  Think about it, what could you put in that sentence, He who finds a _______________ finds what is good?  How many times do we add the good before that blank?  Good job, Good house, Good church, Good family, Good friends, Good…..whatever!  Maybe those things are, in and of themselves, just good.  Maybe we shouldn't be looking for the good ___________ and just see the good in the _________________ already.
     I like this one.

THE HOUSE THAT HOBY AND BARB BUILT

     Whoa, like 40 years of life just came to an end!  Dad is going to Florida and moving out of the house that part, or all, of the Melton family has been living in for 40 years.  Seems like an appropriate response would be to blog about my favorite memories…..

• Sitting with a cast from a leg operation, playing with the race track we got for Christmas in our back room (which is not there anymore!)
• Playing wiffle ball against myself in the backyard after we mowed out a baseball field back there.
• Wiffle ball games with actual other people in the back yard - Scott Augello could hit a home run every time. 
• One of my greatest memories - thousands of Wiffle Ball games in the front - yes, we had stats!  (And we got yelled at by the Korandas because we were going to hurt their house….with a Wiffle Ball!)
• Rocky sneaking out of the backyard and being brought back by the police.
• The night that Rocky breathed his last breath in the living room.
• Sitting in my room, listening to the Top 40 and drawing pictures for each song.
• Watching 5 hours of the Matts Wilander / Ivan Lendal tennis match.  We didn't see the end; because 4 hours and 50 minutes before that Dad had told us to do something and finally turned off the T.V.
• Hearing the Vanagon driving from the end of the block whenever my dad would come home (the only thing that was louder was his whistling - which you could also hear from the end of the block).
• Get it out! Get it out!
• When someone sat on the banana.
• When I told either Jim or Rick what I got them for Christmas - to this day I swear they used a Jedi mind trick on me.
• Speaking of swearing, the one time I swore at 317 Hale (before we started swearing for fun!).  "I don't give a *&(&(*& what shirt you wear!" He asked!
• Playing All-Star Baseball on the floor - for hours….and keeping stats!
• Having John Kanak over to play some baseball game on the computer.
• Whipping my Chipmunk doll against the door and breaking it one day when John was over.
• The day Jim went out for a deep pass and ran head first into the Hajek's light pole.
• Pulling into the driveway with brown drawers after a summer league baseball game - should have held it!
• The Christmas morning when we got all the board games.
• Taking a Coke out of the fridge, taking a Coke out of the fridge, taking a Coke out of the fridge (repeat about a zillion times)
• Grandma Melton showing me her scars on the back porch.
• Flinging burnt dinner rolls around the living room with wooden spoons on a Thanksgiving night with Mark Pendergrass.
• I kissed a girl in my bedroom once!
• I also kissed a different girl in the backyard.
• And I kissed another one in the driveway.  That was about it.
• Lifting weights in our garage was awesome.  A lot of sweat is on that floor.
• When we made our old garage into our bedroom.  In the couple months it took, we had full-court Nerf hoop.  I played a lot of games in there.
• Cammy's polka-dotted door.
• Rick and I having the messiest room in the world.
• We did have water beds though.  It made up for the year or two that we slept on those fold-out chair things.
• I'll never forget playing Four on the Couch or Christmas Caroling with our shirts off.
• There were a lot of basketball games watched in that house!
• One time, we had races where we'd ride our bikes in the grass, up the driveway and to the porch and time ourselves.
• Ooooh, the eighth grade graduation party.  
• Standing on the edge of the doorway to try to see what we got for Christmas, while we waited to wake up our parents.
• The night of my mom's Celebration of Life as we sat around the table - a lot of great times around that table in recent years!
• My dad trying to hook up a new water heater in the laundry room.
• Trying to memorize Mr. Irwin's fraction / percentage table.
• Eating butter creme frosting right out of the bucket….or putting it on the top of ice cream!
• Making bagel sandwiches.
• Having an Easter Egg hidden in the vent - classic.
• Decorating the tree with tinsel, and pouring egg nog in my shirt pocket.                                         Obviously, there's a whole bunch more and some awesome thing happened in that house, but what I'll remember most from those 40 years at 317 Hale is what came out of that house.  18 great people and one great family.  THANKS MOM AND DAD FOR MAKING 317 HALE THE GREATEST HOUSE IN ROMEOVILLE'S HISTORY!  (Side note: Not saying much, it's only Romeoville!)

IT''S MY JOB!

In the book of  Esther,  there's this little passage  that I don't remember reading before (which shocked me because I think I've read through the whole Bible - old age, I guess).  But it talked about women respecting their husbands - YES!  And then it talks about how men should  be the ruler of their household.

     Now, back  in my Bible Belt days, there was a lot of talk about this kind of  thing.  It usually went like this - "The man makes all the decisions in the house!  The woman just does whatever the huband says.  The husband is in charge and the wife just follows him."  A lot of the conversation put the man on top of a pedestal while the wife was left cleaning and providing food for that pedestal.

     I'm  not really about that!  In fact, as I read this today,  I wonder if God is trying to teach us something different; because in this passage it ends "in his own language."  I just got the sense after reading this morning that being "head of the household" just means (in the words of Coach T) "Do Your Job!"

      If your kid needs to learn a little humility - DO YOUR JOB!  If your family needs money - DO YOUR JOB!  If your wife needs more time from you - DO YOUR JOB!  If your house needs to be  cleaned - DO YOUR JOB!  If there's a tough decision that needs to  be  made about school or friends - DO YOUR JOB!  

     As a husband and a father, I think God is saying that our family is our responsibility.  If it needs something, DO IT!  Take that on yourself.   Does that mean the wife is not responsible for anything?  It doesn't really matter; because as the husband / father it's my responsibility to DO MY JOB!

RELATIONSHIPS

     It seems like a good goal, like a good word to focus on for 2014 - RELATIONSHIPS!  I'm praying really hard (ok, it's only been one day, but I prayed my butt off last night) that our neighborhood could somehow come together again, we'd find 3-4 really solid families to bond with, and the volunteers at the homeless shelter would be plentiful and inspiring.
     Those are all things outside.  Not outside like -15 degrees outside, but outside like not in my home.  This morning I read the story about how God created man and wanted to find a suitable helper for him. He came up with woman.
      It struck me that Adam's first relationship (after dogs and horses and stuff) was with woman.  His first relationship was with his wife.  In fact, before he could even concentrate on relationships with his neighbors, or hometown or homeless shelter, he had to focus on his relationship with his wife; because none of that stuff was even there.
     Hmmm, maybe there is something to that.  God said he needed a helper suitable for man.  He didn't create a drinking buddy, didn't create a guy to watch football with, didn't create some people to volunteer with - He created a woman, and more specifically, a wife.
      Maybe I should focus on my relationship with my wife….and let God take care of all that other stuff.